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Penname: Speaker to Customers [Contact]
Real name: Paul
Membership status: Member
Member since: July 29, 2011
Website:
Beta-reader: No
I'm curiouswombat's husband.

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Series by Speaker to Customers [1]
Reviews by Speaker to Customers [8]
Challenges by Speaker to Customers [0]
Recommendations by Speaker to Customers [0]
Favorite Series [1]
Speaker to Customers's Favorites [12]

Stories by Speaker to Customers

Title: The Dark Companion by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [ - ]
Summary: Cierre, Ranger of Faerûn, is transported to Middle Earth and meets Aragorn at Amon Hen. She wins a place in the Fellowship and tries to help; unfortunately she's a Drow and her black skin is seen as the mark of the Enemy. And a casual remark, made innocently, sets off a chain of events which may bring catastrophe to Middle Earth. Crossover with Neverwinter Nights: Hordes of the Underdark.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Amrothos, Aragorn, Boromir, Elladan, Elrohir, Éomer, Éowyn, Erchirion, Erkenbrand, Gamling, Gandalf, Gimli, Gríma Wormtongue, Halbarad, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, OFC, OMC, Orc, Peregrin "Pippin" Took, Saruman, Theoden, Uruk-Hai
Content: Action/Adventure, Character Death, Crossover, Het
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 10 | Completed: No | Word count: 135456 | Read count: 47959

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Published: April 19, 2012 | Updated: May 07, 2015


Title: The Book of Lost Trains by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [ - ]
Summary: LotR as it would have been if written by the Rev. W. Awdry (creator of Thomas the Tank Engine); the oddest crossover ever. 2 x 200-word double drabbles and a 100-word drabble.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Balrog, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf, Gimli, Gollum/Sméagol, Legolas, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, Samwise "Sam" Gamgee, Sauron
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 509 | Read count: 2882

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Published: November 21, 2012 | Updated: November 21, 2012


Title: What Cierre Did Next by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [ - ]
Summary: Drabble postscript to Les Morts Dansant giving a glimpse of Cierre's activities in the Undying Lands.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Elladan, Elrohir, OFC
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: Les Morts Dansant
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 103 | Read count: 1661

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Published: November 03, 2012 | Updated: November 03, 2012


Title: Les Morts Dansant by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [ - ]
Summary: Crossover with the Forgotten Realms. Lothíriel and her brothers, returning to Gondor after a visit to Edoras, are intercepted by a Haradrim warlord seeking vengeance on the Rohirrim. Simultaneously a party of Drow, fleeing Faerûn after the death of their goddess, arrive in Middle Earth and get involved. The stage is set for a bloody conflict which few will survive.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Amrothos, Éomer, Erchirion, Gimli, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, OFC, OMC
Content: Action/Adventure, Angst, Crossover, Drama, Het, Romance
Challenge: None
Series: Les Morts Dansant
Chapters: 5 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 44005 | Read count: 9110

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Published: August 26, 2011 | Updated: October 29, 2012


Title: Ent Music by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [ - ]
Summary: A drabble series inspired by a spelling mistake, or typo, encountered recently by curiouswombat. Merry and Pippin meet one of Treebeard's more surprising allies - and then find that allies can come with unwelcome baggage.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, Peregrin "Pippin" Took, Treebeard/Fangorn
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 | Completed: No | Word count: 408 | Read count: 3402

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Published: September 18, 2012 | Updated: September 20, 2012


Title: Same as the old boss... by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [ - ]
Summary: Sometimes getting powerful help on your quest really isn't a good idea. When a hero from another world turns up at the Council of Elrond, and volunteers to take the Ring to Mount Doom, it backfires horribly...
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas
Content: Crossover, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 414 | Read count: 2189

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Published: May 23, 2012 | Updated: May 23, 2012


Title: When you've got to go... by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Drabble. A pair of Mary-Sue 10th & 11th Walkers encounter the practical necessities Tolkien and Jackson omitted from the books and the movie. Inspired by Ellyn's review of 'The Dark Companion'.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Halbarad, OFC
Content: Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 103 | Read count: 1852

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Published: May 13, 2012 | Updated: May 13, 2012


Title: If Peter Jackson did crossovers... by Speaker to Customers
Rated: General Audiences [ - ]
Summary: A drabble about what might have happened in the movie if Peter Jackson had decided to kill two birds with one stone. Perhaps the shortest 'Tenth Walker' story ever written.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Celeborn, Elrond, Éowyn, Gandalf
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Gen, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 105 | Read count: 2787

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Published: August 16, 2011 | Updated: August 16, 2011


Title: Two and a Half Drabbles by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [ - ]
Summary: Two 100-word drabbles, and a 50-word half-drabble, written by a self-confessed Gimli/Galadriel shipper with an odd sense of humour.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Galadriel, Gimli, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck
Content: Drabble, Het, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 255 | Read count: 6892

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Published: August 09, 2011 | Updated: August 09, 2011


Title: The Rings At Pooh Corner by Speaker to Customers
Rated: Mature [ - ]
Summary: A crossover between The Lord of the Rings, the Winnie the Pooh stories of A A Milne, and Twilight; inspired by the purchase of Lotrfanfiction.com by Keith Mander. The Council of Elrond select a Tenth Walker to accompany the Fellowship - Edward Bear of the Beornings, known to all as Winnie the Pooh. Told in the form of twelve 100-word drabbles.

Definitely not to be taken seriously. Warning; as anyone who knows me from elsewhere will be aware, I'm a Gimli/Galadriel shipper.
Category: Fiction
Characters: Aragorn, Elrond, Éomer, Galadriel, Gimli, Imrahil, Legolas, Lothiriel, Saruman, Theoden
Content: Crossover, Drabble, Humor
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 1312 | Read count: 4869

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Published: July 29, 2011 | Updated: July 29, 2011