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The Wall of Shadow by Urloth Teen
The Silmaril had never been so stupid as to expect recovering Maglor would be easy. 
So Sweet the Dying Song by Arasa17 Teen
The story of a broken hearted spirit.  
Little father by Kalendeer General Audiences
Nerdanel considers her children, and why Curufin was always special to Fëanor’s heart.
Shimmer and Sing by amyfortuna Explicit
Nolofinw, at a party, is bored. And guilty. And angsty. Oh, hey look, it's Fanro - the magical glitter fairy! But what...
Something To Remember by amyfortuna Explicit
Fingolfin, annoyed that Fanor is going away, asks for something to remember him by.
The Darkness in Your Heart by cheekybeak Teen
Legolas begins a new life in Ithilien but not all who go with him are eager and he brings with him pain that cannot be ignored.
Friendship Amidst Loss by KimicThranduilion Teen
When Legolas and his troop become targets for slave traders tragedy strikes and the Prince suffers a devastating loss after...

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The Scars from Tomorrow by mangacrack Mature
“I see the future and it's a catastrophe,” is what Nàmo would say. Since no asks him anyway, he doesn't...

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Penname: Kalendeer [Contact]
Real name: Lucie
Membership status: Member
Member since: May 04, 2016
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Stories by Kalendeer [3]
Series by Kalendeer [0]
Challenges by Kalendeer [0]
Recommendations by Kalendeer [0]
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Reviews by Kalendeer


Title: Weirdly wonderful. by Urloth
Rated: Mature [ - ]
Summary: Feature

A place for all my small pieces that don't justify a story to their own but don't deserve to rot in a file in the back of my document folder because I'm not going to make them any longer. Also the future home to any B2Me I ever do. (Maybe next year?)


Category: Fiction
Characters: Aredhel, Balin, Caranthir, Celebran, Celegorm, Curufin, Elrond, Erestor, Erendil, El, Fanor, Finarfin, Findis, Fingolfin, Finrod, Finw, Galadriel, Gildor, Glorfindel, Huan, Idril, Indis, Irim, Legolas, Maeglin, Maglor, Mandos/Nmo, Manw, Melian, Mriel, Nerdanel, OFC, OMC, Orom, Thranduil, Ulmo, Yavanna
Content: Action/Adventure, Angst, AU, BDSM, Character Death, Drabble, Drama, Erotica, Gen, Het, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Kink, PWP, Romance, Slash, Vignette
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 53 | Completed: No | Word count: 44468 | Read count: 59801

[Report This]
Published: May 21, 2012 | Updated: April 18, 2015


Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 16, 2016 Title: Chapter 31: Prompt: Replacement (Finwe, Miriel, Indis, Finarfin, Irime, Findis.)

The slap into Indis' face I get because Indis was, well, a grown women who chose to marry Finwë despite the dire consequences for Miriel, but the fate of Indis daughter's is heartless at best.

Dark fic indeed !



Author's Response:

This was meant to be a super dark fic :D I was reading a lot of crusades era dynasty mongering fiction at the time and wanted to write something like the cold blooded machinations I'd seen going on in those! :D thanks for the review!



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 16, 2016 Title: Chapter 7: Prompt: Sisterhood (Finwe, Indis, Feanor, Original Character)

I wonder how Mirandel will be punished for her crime. Knowing the Valar, they must have been soooooo shocked: "But but why, elves are supposed to be cute and nice, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? That must the MARRING! THE MARRIIIIIIIIING!"

Because we all know that the Marring of Arda is responsible for everything bad, don't we ?



Author's Response:

There;s a follow up further along amongst the drabbles :D basically she hot foots it into exile and crosses the Helcaraxe by herself.



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 06, 2016 Title: Chapter 1: This means war.

This Nerdanel just became canon for me.

Her and Lintamendë's interpretation about what the hell she was doing before the rebellion.

Now, I wonder, how many feuds did she manage to create before the Noldor left for ME ? I want to know more about Nerdanel's secret part in all of this !



Author's Response:

One thing I love is a Nerdanel that is both not taking Feanor's shit and also not taking anyone elses shit. I'd love to believe this Nerdanel was a subversive character before the Noldor left ME and stirred a lot of conflict up.



Title: The Black Arrow by ziggy
Rated: General Audiences [ - ]
Summary:

Thranduil strikes a bargain with his fiery neighbour.

The story of how the black arrow that killed Smaug came to Bard. 'Black Arrow!" said the bowman. "Black arrow! I have saved you to the last. You have never failed me and always I have recovered you. I had you from my father and he from of old. If ever you came from the forges of the true King under the Mountain, go now and speed well!"

It was brought from the Lonely Mountain, from the forges of the true King under the Mountain. But it was taken from Smaug’s horde by someone quite unexpected.

The story of how the Black Arrow came to be in Bard’s hands, and how Legolas got his tattoo.

 


Category: Fiction
Characters: Thranduil
Content: Action/Adventure
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 9 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 38821 | Read count: 6790

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Published: November 01, 2013 | Updated: May 03, 2015


Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 08, 2016 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 Smaug

I was never fond of the Hobbit. Lee Pace managed to make Thranduil look cool, but that wasn't enough to actually make him interesting (but then, Peter Jackson has a problem with making interesting). I think Smaug led me to start with this story instead of Thranduil, because dragon !

The two first chapters were very well written, and the meeting between Thranduil and Smaug  is very, very strong. I like how you wove fear with fascination, like a man watching a tiger and knowing this beautiful beast would eat him alive... only Smaug is bigger, more dangerous, and can actually talk, so the feeling would increase ten fold. Thranduil is every bit the elven king there, and using his status to make himself more pricely and interesting. It's very in character for an elf ; he's using wits, but his wits are in no way comparable with Bilbo's innocence. Bilbo uses modesty and his non threatening nature while Thranduil uses all the qualities of his own race: the fact that elves are dangerous (Earendil, after all, killed the greatest of the dragon, and Glaurung himself never dared to face Maedhros) and their marvellous, shiny hair!



Author's Response:

So glad you are reading this and reviewing. I loved Lee Pace's look as Thranduil but PJ 's elves are all about the look really and you're right- he can't do depth. Even Galadriel is a bit one dimensional!

 

This chapter sort of wrote itself actually- I think my best work is like that and the images are already formed, the words just come. You know what I mean? I have to say I think PJ's dragon was wonderful- he does make his beasts satisfyingly big, colossal- like the balrog. Magnificently huge.

I like your comparison with Bilbo- an interesting point- might use that if that's OK in the current one when I get there.

 

Yes- marvellous shiny hair:)



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 08, 2016 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 Girion's Heir

Very short review for this chapter : Yay dragon spell !



Author's Response:

Thank you!!



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 08, 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Use everything you want, we are writing fanfics, it's all about sharing !

I think it shows, that you had this meeting in your head and wrote this fic for it. There's the feel that the scene was very clear in your head: lots of details, feelings, "something" that just isn't there in scenes that are meant to link parts of the plot together. I hope to see more scenes lake those in the next chapters !



Author's Response:

Yes, you will. I liked that moment in the movie where Thranduil just looks as Bilbo scuttles away. I have never beleived that the ring could have been in the  stronghold all that time and not tried to reach Thranduil, or he would not have noticed. There are going to be a lot more arguments in Mirkwood than usual!!



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 08, 2016 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 Laersul

I love Thranduil's obsession with the dragon. You make me want to put dragons in my own fic ! I'll have to work with Glaurung though, but your Smaug is brilliant, even when he's not here.



Author's Response:

Argh- SO SORRY!! There were so many junk SPAM emails I htink I stopped checking or got confused. I missed htis anyway- so sorry.

 

Thank you for this lovely comment- is this what you meant about dragon's? (WAs that you? Sultry in September??)

Glaurung- amazing:) So much fun.



Title: The Revolutionary and the Usurper by Encairion
Rated: Mature [ - ]
Summary: Feature

The tale of the boy who stood up to change the world, and the half-brother who wanted to stand at his side, but if he couldn’t have that, let him have everything else.

The tale of the Genius and the Shepherd as they were known by some, the Madman and the Traitor by others, but who were they in each other’s eyes?

The tale of Fëanor and Fingolfin.

“I refuse to accept the Noldor are bound to the starless midnight of these petty lives the Valar have boxed us into.  I refuse to accept we will never walk through these shadows and into the bright daybreak of freedom!” –Fëanor in The Revolutionary and the Usurper


Category: Fiction
Characters: Amras, Amrod, Caranthir, Celegorm, Curufin, Fanor, Finarfin, Fingolfin, Fingon, Finw, Indis, Maedhros, Maglor, Melkor/Morgoth, Mriel, Nerdanel, OFC, OMC, Rmil
Content: Character Death, Drama, Incest, Slash
Challenge: None
Series: The Price of Eternity
Chapters: 23 | Completed: No | Word count: 142478 | Read count: 16346

[Report This]
Published: December 29, 2014 | Updated: April 03, 2016


Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 16, 2016 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter 2 !

Poor Indis! I understand that Fëanor is upset, but as someone who takes rejection very very hard, I sympathize with her. She's really trying hard, I actually found her quite likable in this scene. I don't know if you like her or not but she came out as pretty decent. I tend to have a problem with fics who are deliberatly negative on every (or almost every) female characters; it happens far too frequently with slash fictions, which is sad because those are mostly written by women. I also remember liking your Nerdanel and Elenwë so kudos for your women in general.

The north aisle and Miriel belongings

I like the image of dust and shadows here, even if Finwë, being a king, can probably pay at least one servant to actually clean the place since he knows his son is going to visit. I guess the symbolic is more important than palace managing though :)

Some of Finwë's hurt seeping through in this scene. We always see Fëanor being afraid of rejection, but obviously Finwë has to dealt with the same problem: since it's been said by the Valar that Miriel didn't want to return, he must have felt he refusal like a blow. It's been pointed out (by Lintamandë I think) that depressions may be seriously misunderstood in Valinor, so Finwë wouldn't be able to understand her at all... in this case, how not to take it personnaly? How is he supposed not to think she abandonned both him and Fëanor? How is he supposed to bear his sons queries about her, when he believes she doesn't care enough?

The wedding ceremony

Very realistic aweful people (who could be you and me because most people are aweful like this).

Perhaps it would have gone better if Finwë finally hired a nanny or something, but it's never going to happen.



Author's Response:

Thank you for another great review!  It’s so wonderful to hear how much you enjoyed the story :)

I found it really interesting that you liked Indis character, since I think she is one of the weakest in the story (in so far as I think I didn’t give her enough depth), but that’s great that you were able to sympathize with her :)

I tend to have a problem with fics who are deliberatly negative on every (or almost every) female characters; it happens far too frequently with slash fictions, which is sad because those are mostly written by women. I also remember liking your Nerdanel and Elenwë so kudos for your women in general.

Thank you!  I actually used to worry that I was writing poor FC’s, but as I’ve developed as a writer I think they’ve gotten stronger and more well rounded.  To me what I look for and want in a female character and what I consider a strong female character is a complex one.  She can be a villain as long as her actions make sense and she has depth to her.  Just give me a woman I can really sink my teeth into! 

“Some of Finwë's hurt seeping through in this scene. We always see Fëanor being afraid of rejection, but obviously Finwë has to dealt with the same problem: since it's been said by the Valar that Miriel didn't want to return, he must have felt he refusal like a blow

Oh, I hadn’t actually thought of this before –Finwe feeling that sense of abandonment—but I like it a lot!  Yes, I can see his greif turning that way, and from this feeling of abandonment sprouted one of resentment, and from there he just locked his doors on Mirel and their memories together. 

“t's been pointed out (by Lintamandë I think) that depressions may be seriously misunderstood in Valinor, so Finwë wouldn't be able to understand her at all... 

Yes, I think she was depressed, and also, as you said, that depression (and mental illness in general) was not understood in Valinor.  So Finwe not understanding why Miriel couldn’t find the will to keep living would have made it all all the harder, because it would be as if she were saying that he, and Feanor, weren’t enough to live for, and how can that not be painful?

The wedding ceremony

Very realistic aweful people (who could be you and me because most people are aweful like this).”

I’m glad you found it realistic!  It can be hard to sell random people being awful in a story lol  At least I think so sometimes, since we don’t get to see any of their motivations behind their words, and they are pretty much used solely for the purpose of our main character’s story line lol  So it’s good to hear it all turned out so well :)

Thank you again for the review!  I love that you have gotten me thinking again about the beginning of the story because I haven’t thought about it for too long :)

 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you for another great review!  It’s so wonderful to hear how much you enjoyed the story :)

I found it really interesting that you liked Indis character, since I think she is one of the weakest in the story (in so far as I think I didn’t give her enough depth), but that’s great that you were able to sympathize with her :)

I tend to have a problem with fics who are deliberatly negative on every (or almost every) female characters; it happens far too frequently with slash fictions, which is sad because those are mostly written by women. I also remember liking your Nerdanel and Elenwë so kudos for your women in general.

Thank you!  I actually used to worry that I was writing poor FC’s, but as I’ve developed as a writer I think they’ve gotten stronger and more well rounded.  To me what I look for and want in a female character and what I consider a strong female character is a complex one.  She can be a villain as long as her actions make sense and she has depth to her.  Just give me a woman I can really sink my teeth into! 

“Some of Finwë's hurt seeping through in this scene. We always see Fëanor being afraid of rejection, but obviously Finwë has to dealt with the same problem: since it's been said by the Valar that Miriel didn't want to return, he must have felt he refusal like a blow

Oh, I hadn’t actually thought of this before –Finwe feeling that sense of abandonment—but I like it a lot!  Yes, I can see his greif turning that way, and from this feeling of abandonment sprouted one of resentment, and from there he just locked his doors on Mirel and their memories together. 

“t's been pointed out (by Lintamandë I think) that depressions may be seriously misunderstood in Valinor, so Finwë wouldn't be able to understand her at all... 

Yes, I think she was depressed, and also, as you said, that depression (and mental illness in general) was not understood in Valinor.  So Finwe not understanding why Miriel couldn’t find the will to keep living would have made it all all the harder, because it would be as if she were saying that he, and Feanor, weren’t enough to live for, and how can that not be painful?

The wedding ceremony

Very realistic aweful people (who could be you and me because most people are aweful like this).”

I’m glad you found it realistic!  It can be hard to sell random people being awful in a story lol  At least I think so sometimes, since we don’t get to see any of their motivations behind their words, and they are pretty much used solely for the purpose of our main character’s story line lol  So it’s good to hear it all turned out so well :)

Thank you again for the review!  I love that you have gotten me thinking again about the beginning of the story because I haven’t thought about it for too long :)

 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you for another great review!  It’s so wonderful to hear how much you enjoyed the story :)

I found it really interesting that you liked Indis character, since I think she is one of the weakest in the story (in so far as I think I didn’t give her enough depth), but that’s great that you were able to sympathize with her :)

I tend to have a problem with fics who are deliberatly negative on every (or almost every) female characters; it happens far too frequently with slash fictions, which is sad because those are mostly written by women. I also remember liking your Nerdanel and Elenwë so kudos for your women in general.

Thank you!  I actually used to worry that I was writing poor FC’s, but as I’ve developed as a writer I think they’ve gotten stronger and more well rounded.  To me what I look for and want in a female character and what I consider a strong female character is a complex one.  She can be a villain as long as her actions make sense and she has depth to her.  Just give me a woman I can really sink my teeth into! 

“Some of Finwë's hurt seeping through in this scene. We always see Fëanor being afraid of rejection, but obviously Finwë has to dealt with the same problem: since it's been said by the Valar that Miriel didn't want to return, he must have felt he refusal like a blow

Oh, I hadn’t actually thought of this before –Finwe feeling that sense of abandonment—but I like it a lot!  Yes, I can see his greif turning that way, and from this feeling of abandonment sprouted one of resentment, and from there he just locked his doors on Mirel and their memories together. 

“t's been pointed out (by Lintamandë I think) that depressions may be seriously misunderstood in Valinor, so Finwë wouldn't be able to understand her at all... 

Yes, I think she was depressed, and also, as you said, that depression (and mental illness in general) was not understood in Valinor.  So Finwe not understanding why Miriel couldn’t find the will to keep living would have made it all all the harder, because it would be as if she were saying that he, and Feanor, weren’t enough to live for, and how can that not be painful?

The wedding ceremony

Very realistic aweful people (who could be you and me because most people are aweful like this).”

I’m glad you found it realistic!  It can be hard to sell random people being awful in a story lol  At least I think so sometimes, since we don’t get to see any of their motivations behind their words, and they are pretty much used solely for the purpose of our main character’s story line lol  So it’s good to hear it all turned out so well :)

Thank you again for the review!  I love that you have gotten me thinking again about the beginning of the story because I haven’t thought about it for too long :)

 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you for another great review!  It’s so wonderful to hear how much you enjoyed the story :)

I found it really interesting that you liked Indis character, since I think she is one of the weakest in the story (in so far as I think I didn’t give her enough depth), but that’s great that you were able to sympathize with her :)

I tend to have a problem with fics who are deliberatly negative on every (or almost every) female characters; it happens far too frequently with slash fictions, which is sad because those are mostly written by women. I also remember liking your Nerdanel and Elenwë so kudos for your women in general.

Thank you!  I actually used to worry that I was writing poor FC’s, but as I’ve developed as a writer I think they’ve gotten stronger and more well rounded.  To me what I look for and want in a female character and what I consider a strong female character is a complex one.  She can be a villain as long as her actions make sense and she has depth to her.  Just give me a woman I can really sink my teeth into! 

“Some of Finwë's hurt seeping through in this scene. We always see Fëanor being afraid of rejection, but obviously Finwë has to dealt with the same problem: since it's been said by the Valar that Miriel didn't want to return, he must have felt he refusal like a blow

Oh, I hadn’t actually thought of this before –Finwe feeling that sense of abandonment—but I like it a lot!  Yes, I can see his greif turning that way, and from this feeling of abandonment sprouted one of resentment, and from there he just locked his doors on Mirel and their memories together. 

“t's been pointed out (by Lintamandë I think) that depressions may be seriously misunderstood in Valinor, so Finwë wouldn't be able to understand her at all... 

Yes, I think she was depressed, and also, as you said, that depression (and mental illness in general) was not understood in Valinor.  So Finwe not understanding why Miriel couldn’t find the will to keep living would have made it all all the harder, because it would be as if she were saying that he, and Feanor, weren’t enough to live for, and how can that not be painful?

The wedding ceremony

Very realistic aweful people (who could be you and me because most people are aweful like this).”

I’m glad you found it realistic!  It can be hard to sell random people being awful in a story lol  At least I think so sometimes, since we don’t get to see any of their motivations behind their words, and they are pretty much used solely for the purpose of our main character’s story line lol  So it’s good to hear it all turned out so well :)

Thank you again for the review!  I love that you have gotten me thinking again about the beginning of the story because I haven’t thought about it for too long :)

 

 



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 17, 2016 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Back for chapter 3 !

Indis's "plot" and making Fëanor go to a party

So obviously all descriptions of Indis's behavior are heavily biased there, leaving the reader to wonder if she is trully "ploting" or not, and I like that. It's possible that Indis is the kind of person with big words concerning education, perhaps she dislikes Fëanor, perhaps she tries to like him and help Finwë, since he looks pretty much lost (perhaps Indis could actually hire a nanny, even if it's kinda too late at this point ; looks like she has one in this chapter but what the hell was she doing before that point?).

As someone who believes that at least some discipline is important for children because it basically helps to understand boundaries in Big Bad Mean Society, I think Finwë handles it badly because he's trying something new and isn't explaining. I don't think parents have to explain every choice they make, but in Fëanor's case he is highly intelligent and curious and Finwë should understand, at this point, that his son has an obsession about inderstanding things.

I also have the fealing that when Finwë renounces the idea of sending Fëanor to lord Pelloch's son's begetting day celebration, he's not doing so because he understood his son but because he didn't have it in him to enforce discipline. Because Fëanor DOES behave here like a child throwing a huge tantrum, and Finwë is basically yielding to said tantrum.

So I really don't know if Indis is right or wrong here. Perhaps more discipline would have worked if Finwë had explained it better. Knowing your Fëanor, I also wonder how much she influences Finwë in this : we don't know if HE asked her counsels or if she gave them sponteanously.

I honestly pitied Finwë. As someone who doesn't like children and is easily annoyed by them (and have, and want none at this point, perhaps it's different when a child is your child), I think I would have lost patience very quickly with Fëanor. I understand he's autistic and different but still, I admit I wouldn't have reacted well to him hidding in the chest, and the scene may have turned at it did. Fëanor getting hurt was obviously an accident, I just can't hate Finwë for what happened or for the "bad" way he treated his son. A father's stamina just isn't infinite.

 

Fëanor and children

It's probably because in my country most children go to school at the age of three, but I was kinda shocked that he seems to have had so little interaction with children until he was seven. I think Indis is kinda right that they should try to mix him with other elflings, because that's, well, the normal thing to do.

I also think I would have hated him as child by the way he behaves, because people with autism can be very "cruel" to the ears of others without wanting to. I once met a girl who was writing a novel and I started to beta-read it with other people, and sometimes her characters would say truly terrible things that sounded perfectly normal and not at all unkind to her. When we pointed it out, the autor simply didn't understand what was wrong and why her characters were behaving in an "unrealistic" fashion, because they were following her line of thinking instead of ours.

We talked about it, and how she was often angry at the whole world because she had to make a conscious effort to understand social conventions all the time, but "normies" didn't have to. She always found unfair that she quickly annoys people while the world will never bend for her: people can't be bothered with shouldering part of her burden.

I think the same thing is going on with Fëanor, but neither he nor the children have the maturity to understand what is happening. I often like to describe him as someone who doesn't really speak the same language sometimes, or that some things get "lost in translation" concerning his relationships, unless he's interaction with someone who actually knows him. Before I had thorough conversations with this girl, I assumed she was a first-class bitch, while afterwars I often wondered, when she was mean, if she truly was or if we were just mistranslating each other.



Author's Response:

So obviously all descriptions of Indis's behavior are heavily biased there, leaving the reader to wonder if she is trully "ploting" or not, and I like that. It's possible that Indis is the kind of person with big words concerning education, perhaps she dislikes Fëanor, perhaps she tries to like him and help Finwë, since he looks pretty much lost (perhaps Indis could actually hire a nanny, even if it's kinda too late at this point ; looks like she has one in this chapter but what the hell was she doing before that point?).

I am glad that you liked that Indis’ motivations are unknown to us.  Of course Feanor has his own ideas, and strong ones at that!  But at this point in the story we don’t know what her motivations are (in fact we never get a deep look into her head and heart, which was why I said she was the FC with the least depth :).

As someone who believes that at least some discipline is important for children because it basically helps to understand boundaries in Big Bad Mean Society, I think Finwë handles it badly because he's trying something new and isn't explaining. I don't think parents have to explain every choice they make, but in Fëanor's case he is highly intelligent and curious and Finwë should understand, at this point, that his son has an obsession about inderstanding things.

Oh yes, Feanor does need discipline and boundaries, but Finwe is indeed going about it all wrong.  I don’t think Feanor should be forced into something he is so strongly against like this, Finwe should try to approach the issue from another way and see if he can’t find a solution that doesn’t turn it into a power struggle like this, and certainly not losing control of himself.

“I also have the fealing that when Finwë renounces the idea of sending Fëanor to lord Pelloch's son's begetting day celebration, he's not doing so because he understood his son but because he didn't have it in him to enforce discipline. Because Fëanor DOES behave here like a child throwing a huge tantrum, and Finwë is basically yielding to said tantrum.

Yes, you are right, Finwe is just giving in, which is not what Feanor needs.  I mean, I think Finwe never should have forced him to go like that and he shouldn’t force Feanor to go to more socializing events just because he’s started down a path and doesn’t think he can step off it without giving up ground.  There are other solutions he could have taken that would have allowed him to stay the parent and the one ultimately making the choices, but would have allowed Feanor to keep his dignity and show that Finwe was listening to him without it turning into Feanor throwing a tantrum and ultimately getting his way.  It was just badly done all around :(

“I honestly pitied Finwë. As someone who doesn't like children and is easily annoyed by them (and have, and want none at this point, perhaps it's different when a child is your child), I think I would have lost patience very quickly with Fëanor. I understand he's autistic and different but still, I admit I wouldn't have reacted well to him hidding in the chest, and the scene may have turned at it did. Fëanor getting hurt was obviously an accident, I just can't hate Finwë for what happened or for the "bad" way he treated his son. A father's stamina just isn't infinite.

I can sympathize with you about not wanting children, I to never plan on having any.  Feanor would be a child that drove his parent up the wall some days, but I think he’d also be one of the loveliest children imaginable at other times :) 

“It's probably because in my country most children go to school at the age of three

Three!  Wow, that’s young.  I’m really curious to know what country you live in now!  Where I live school isn’t mandatory until kindergarten which is 5-6 years old.

“I think Indis is kinda right that they should try to mix him with other elflings, because that's, well, the normal thing to do.

I can see what you’re saying here, but I also think about how it can be really harmful for a child to be forced into socializing when they are like Feanor is.  Would more interactions with children his age have really helped him or would it have just been one painful memory after the other?  I am really scared the result would have been would be an adult Feanor so withdrawn into himself he’d developed an extreme dislike for interacting with other human beings and locked himself away, alone, with whatever new thing he was studying.  I really really fear this could have been his future is things had gone differently in his childhood.  Of course there were tons of mistakes Finwe made, and we see the result in an adult Feanor who is the result of Finwe’s poor parenting (I mean in the way Feanor is forever insecure in his father’s love.  Finwe giving into Feanor as a child was not demonstrating love, rather the opposite, it was demonstrating how Feanor was too much for Finwe to handle and he just wanted him to go away.  Parents set boundaries because they love their children, and Feanor wasn’t able to feel that).

“We talked about it, and how she was often angry at the whole world because she had to make a conscious effort to understand social conventions all the time, but "normies" didn't have to. She always found unfair that she quickly annoys people while the world will never bend for her: people can't be bothered with shouldering part of her burden.

That’s a really sad thing to hear, but I can see it in our world, yes.  Some of it –actually probably most of it—is born from people’s ignorance (and I am not excluding myself from this).  How many people understood that she was not trying to be cruel but honestly didn’t see what was wrong with what she was saying?  Not many I would wager, and so they of course either lashed out back at her or kept away :(

“I often like to describe him as someone who doesn't really speak the same language sometimes, or that some things get "lost in translation" concerning his relationships, unless he's interaction with someone who actually knows him.

Ahhh!  I think this is a good way to describe him!  Yes, he doesn’t speak the same language as the people around him in many ways, and we can see the evidence of that frustration build over the years.  But he does have people around him who understand him, and for that I am so grateful!

 

Thank you for the lovely review!  Your reviews have gotten me thinking about the story again, and that’s something I’m really grateful for:)



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 16, 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I've been wanting to write a review on this fic for some weeks now, but it deserved something very thorough and I didn't find the time until now.

Fëanor is easily my favorite character in the Silmarillion. He's also quite popular, so there's many fics either about him or with him. I read quite a lot of them, involving some that displayed warnings that usually put me off (such as incest) and keep away only from the most obvious porn without porn. Because I read so much about him in the past, I now need a lot to be impressed, because some fics have been so awesome, so formative that it's hard to compet.

That being said, your fic truly shines. I have read some very good Fëanor, but was often kinda dissatisfied with his portrayal as a child when it happened, mostly because I don't care about children at all. Your child!Fëanor, however, is so fascinating to me he basically became my new headcanon for his youth (with the sad side effect that poor Finwë got sacrified on the way). The only reason your adult!Fëanor doesn't strike me as much as his younger self does is mainly because I ship with Nerdanel and not with Fingolfin, but he's still very well written, it's more a matter of personnal preferences.

That being said, here I go for chapter 1, which I read like twice already but let's do it again!

Fëanor and his mom

Finwë really has a way to talk to his son, hasn't he?

“You are to conduct yourself with decorum at all times. You are to obey when you’re given a direction. You are to keep your voice at a moderate level, and not upset your mother with your exuberance."

Meh. Really, this looks like Finwë is going to take his son to some official meeting with a public. Also, he makes it sound like Fëanor acting happy is unwanted. I understand his meaning but he's phrasing badly, as if he was speaking to a courtier rather than to a child.

He looks in love with her, though, and you managed to show how this situation is very difficult for him. I think the strain explains much of his failings with Fëanor at this point. It's already so hard being a parent, I can't even guess what Finwë is living right now and Fëanor can't either. Miriel seems to understand this as well when she says "his rules comfort him". I like how you manage to hint at how the adults are feeling even when their son can understand none of it.

I am a bit puzzled that Finwë doesn't know his son can read. That he may not have guessed from the way Fëanor speaks, I understand, but I'm surprised Miriel didn't tell him. Obviously Fëanor learnt his letter early. That's something his mother has obviously known for days, if not weeks. I know she's sick but she's not sick enough as to be unable to speak a single sentence to her husband (plus she sees him every day).

Miriel in Lorien

Lots of Finwë feels. Each question must pierce his heart. Since I already read the part about the Statute, I'm wondering about the answers he could give here. If the matter of her health was discussed before, what are the hypothesis at this point? Is Fëanor already considered the cause of her sickness? If yes, then Finwë is truly in a horrible place right know, because he has only three choices : lying, not answering, or telling his son it's his fault.

Finwë looks like he's under considerable pressure too, with people telling him to do this or that and how it's "best" for his son. I also get this feel that somehow, Fëanor has no one else to connect with in Tirion when Finwë is gone, which is kind of weird: isn't he supposed to have nurses or people looking after them? Or is he unable to befriend them, as he is unable to befriend children of his own age?

Finwë "divorcing" Miriel

More Finwë feel here because I can read between the lines that he just had more than he could bear. He looks like the bad guy here but really, he's not. I don't Fëanor can understand his father's pain right now. When he's sad, he cries and shows he's in pain, but Finwë doesn't display his suffering, so it kind of looks like it came out of nowhere to Fëanor, while we adults can see the signs.

I don't know what would have happened if Finwë had taken Fëanor to Valmar for the Statute. On one hand, perhaps the Valar would have been a bit more delicate if Fëanor had been here. On the other hand I don't think they saw as crualty the very casual way with which they publicly trashed an innocent child and allowed said trashing to be recorded for history, so I don't know if they would have done anything differently.

"Father had been taken with a fit of loneliness, that was all (Why wasn’t Fëanor enough to chase the loneliness away?)."

I've often seen people judging Finwë for his choice of marrying Indis because, well, he's got a son! Fëanor should come first! I understand Fëanor's point of view, he's a child, he's got a lot of insecurities so it's not his fault, but I  think it's also rather easy to consider that Finwë made the wrong choice.

Did Finwë "betray" his son? Perhaps. But everyone has a breaking point, and I think Finwë reached his at some point. We know elves can die of grief, but even humans can break. I don't think a severly depressed Finwë would have done much good for his son at all. Yes, his choice isn't optimal for Fëanor's sake, but then nothing in this situation can be optimal unless Miriel comes back, and she can't. I don't think parents should sacrifice everything for their children because there's only that much unhappiness they can hide from them.

The Valar are huge jerks

I really don't agree with the Valar regarding the "well Fingolfin and folks will be great so let's do it". Just no. Fingolfin and folks didn't exist. You can't sentence Miriel to death for the sake of non existant people, it's ridiculous. If there's anyone to blame here it's the Valar, not Finwë.

That being said, Fëanor finding out about the statute by himself is another proof that no one is EVER watching him in this damned palace. One doesn't need a diploma in A+ parenting to guess that he shouldn't be allowed to read it alone so why was the document even accessible? Wasn't it possible to store it somewhere? Wasn't there someone actually minding the library? OR THE CHILD IN THE LIBRARY?

Perhaps Fëanor should have been raised by wolves. They would probably have cared more about what he's doing than those people.

Also I'm wondering if Finwë didn't defend his son because he's too polite, because he's afraid of the Valar of because he knew they wouldn't take him seriously anyway.

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for these awesome reviews!  I love love love hearing from new readers, so this is just the best gift ever :)

“That being said, your fic truly shines. I have read some very good Fëanor, but was often kinda dissatisfied with his portrayal as a child when it happened, mostly because I don't care about children at all. Your child!Fëanor, however, is so fascinating to me he basically became my new headcanon for his youth (with the sad side effect that poor Finwë got sacrified on the way).”

Thank you again.  Feanor is one of my favorite characters ever because he is such a complex one, but I was supper nervous to write him and still worry that I have fallen way short of the mark, so it means a lot to me to hear how much you enjoyed my portrayal of him :)

Yes, Finwe did get sacrificed along the way.  When I started writing this story I didn’t know how bad of a parent Finwe would turn out to be.  I hadn’t really thought about his parenting before as deeply as one must when writing a character, but the more I thought, the more probably I saw with Finwe at the root.  That’s not to say he’s an evil person or doesn’t love his kids or did horrible things to them, but he was not a good father in the end.  Now there are some reasons for this like his grieving for Miriel and the burden of kingship that stole so much of his time up, but other fathers had to deal with as much and still were good dads, so I think the root of the problem is in Finwe’s nature that had a tendency to blind himself to problems around him as if by doing so they will disappear.  He tries to look straight ahead too much and go marching on, not wanting to deal with the past or the people are him who really really need him right there, in the moment.

I understand his meaning but he's phrasing badly, as if he was speaking to a courtier rather than to a child.

Yes, I agree with you completely.  I think Finwe doesn’t really know how to deal with a son like Feanor.  Finwe, I think, had a lot of dreams about how wonderful fatherhood would be but none of those dreams involved his wife dying, raising the child alone, and on top of that having that child be as extraordinary and uncommon as Feanor.

“I am a bit puzzled that Finwë doesn't know his son can read. That he may not have guessed from the way Fëanor speaks, I understand, but I'm surprised Miriel didn't tell him. Obviously Fëanor learnt his letter early. That's something his mother has obviously known for days, if not weeks. I know she's sick but she's not sick enough as to be unable to speak a single sentence to her husband (plus she sees him every day).

I had to go back and re-read this scene because I couldn’t remember why either lol  I think both Miriel and Feanor thought Finwe had known Feanor could read, but Finwe hadn’t been paying attention.  Sometimes, when your mind is heavy with other matters (and Finwe is defiantly under a lot of stress and worry over Miriel right now) a person could tell you something straight to your face and you don’t hear them.  So that’s what I think happened.  Finwe not realizing Feanor could read was just an example of the weight already preying on his mind, but also one of the ways Feanor internalized that he wasn’t as important to Finwe as other things were (and of course those other things taking up his father’s attention morphed into Indis and her children over the years :(

“Is Fëanor already considered the cause of her sickness? If yes, then Finwë is truly in a horrible place right know, because he has only three choices : lying, not answering, or telling his son it's his fault.

I don’t think people assumed Feanor was the cause of Miriel’s death until the Valar said so.  Her sickness (depression?) did start during the pregnancy, but it has been years since Feanor was born, so I assume that people think it is something else.

 “I also get this feel that somehow, Fëanor has no one else to connect with in Tirion when Finwë is gone, which is kind of weird: isn't he supposed to have nurses or people looking after them? Or is he unable to befriend them, as he is unable to befriend children of his own age?

I think Feanor as a child is really good at slipping away from his minders.  He’s so very clever, and I doubt he wants to be ‘minded’ so he has his ways and probably drove his nurse up the wall until she quit and then the next and the next lol  Feanor as a child reminds me a lot of my little brother who is very clever himself.  It didn’t matter if my mother locked the door to keep him from playing outside without a watcher or put him in his car seat, he always found a way to get out of anything :) 

Feanor does have tutors though, and yes probably a nurse, but you are right, he didn’t connect with them, at least not to an extent to make up for his father’s absent attentions.  The thing about Finwe leaving is that Feanor has already developed abandonment issues, and every time Finwe leaves it makes them that much deeper.  And Feanor doesn’t want or need to spend time with his nurse or someone else, he needed to spend time with his father and hear from his father’s mouth as many times as it takes that Finwe isn’t going to leave him, loves him, and doesn’t blame him for Miriel’s death.  But he isn’t getting that.  And yes, Finwe himself is struggling with grief, and finding Miriel’s death really hard to handle, and on top of that he has Feanor who he loves but doesn’t really understand.  It’s not an easy situation, but I gotta say Finwe doing a lousy job stepping up to the plate :(

“More Finwë feel here because I can read between the lines that he just had more than he could bear. He looks like the bad guy here but really, he's not. 

I don’t think he was a bad person to have felt resentment towards Miriel and have struggled with his grief, that’s just human.  I don’t think he should have pressed Miriel to return until she was ready, but though he did, again, I think it was only him speaking out of his loneliness and grief.  He loves her and wants her back.  So no, he’s not the bad guy (he hasn’t made the many many mistakes he will in future that make me lose my sympathy for him), but you are right that it’s hard for Feanor to understand the path of his father’s grief, which is normal since Feanor is a child.

I don't know what would have happened if Finwë had taken Fëanor to Valmar for the Statute. On one hand, perhaps the Valar would have been a bit more delicate if Fëanor had been here. On the other hand I don't think they saw as crualty the very casual way with which they publicly trashed an innocent child and allowed said trashing to be recorded for history, so I don't know if they would have done anything differently.

I think you are right that they would have just said the same even if he was there!  And yes, the Valar are huge jerks :grins:

“I've often seen people judging Finwë for his choice of marrying Indis because, well, he's got a son! 

I think the problem was not that he wanted to re-marry, because I agree with you that it’s already for him to need the company and comfort of a fellow adult which he was seeking when he decided to re-marry I think.  The problem, for me, was his choice of wife.  Indis as a person I do not like, but the problem is not me not liking her, it’s that she and Feanor did NOT hit it off by any means.  It just seems to me that while yes Feanor is a child, if I were Finwe I would not try to bring someone into my household that my son so obviously dislikes and try to Force them to get along!  He could have waited a while and seen if things smoothed out with Indis and Feanor, but if they didn’t, I think he should have ended things with Indis before they married.  While he has the right to seek his own happiness, I think he should have taken Feanor extreme poor reaction to Indis into consideration.  Feanor may be a child, but Finwe loves him.  Why would he purposely do something that is going to hurt his son?  He needed to either have broken the relationship with Indis, or he needed to try a lot harder in helping Feanor to see why he wanted to re-marry in the first place.  I just think he handled the entire thing really badly.

 If there's anyone to blame here it's the Valar, not Finwë.

I completely agree with you that the Valar are defiantly to blame.  But you’ve probably picked up on my dislike of the Valar after reading the story lol

“That being said, Fëanor finding out about the statute by himself is another proof that no one is EVER watching him in this damned palace. One doesn't need a diploma in A+ parenting to guess that he shouldn't be allowed to read it alone so why was the document even accessible? Wasn't it possible to store it somewhere? Wasn't there someone actually minding the library? OR THE CHILD IN THE LIBRARY?

I think it’s awesome how you pick up on Feanor being alone/not watched like this.  To be honest, I didn’t even thinking about it when writing, it just seemed so natural to me that he’d have snuck off to be alone, or maybe by this point Finwe has given up on trying to stick a minder on him?

“Perhaps Fëanor should have been raised by wolves. They would probably have cared more about what he's doing than those people.

:snorts: now you have stuck the idea of a Feanor raised by wolves into my head and I can’t get it out!  Oh gods, that would be one awesome AU!

“Also I'm wondering if Finwë didn't defend his son because he's too polite, because he's afraid of the Valar of because he knew they wouldn't take him seriously anyway.

Yes, I think he cared over-much about remaining polite and diplomatic in the Valar’s presence (I think Finwe is often thinking about the image he portrays).  To me though (and Feanor obviously) that was the moment Finwe should have stepped up and defended his son.  This is a huge turning point in their relationship and it is something that continues to hurt Feanor for years to come.  What Finwe should have done was speak up, then make sure his son understood that his mother’s death was not his fault.  But he didn’t speak up, so how is Feanor supposed to believe that secretly Finwe doesn’t believe that his very existence is the cause of his mother’s death and that in his heart of hearts his father thinks so too?

Ugh!  Those damn Valar!  Things were already hella rocky and then they go and make things worse!  And Finwe makes a huge mistake here that will follow him in his relationship with his son for years and years to come :(

 

Thank you so much for your reviews!  I am excited to answer your others, but please, give me a little time.  It’s late here, and I am off to bed, but I’ll try to answer them tomorrow :)



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 20, 2016 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Review answer !

"I can see what you’re saying here, but I also think about how it can be really harmful for a child to be forced into socializing when they are like Feanor is.  Would more interactions with children his age have really helped him or would it have just been one painful memory after the other?  I am really scared the result would have been would be an adult Feanor so withdrawn into himself he’d developed an extreme dislike for interacting with other human beings and locked himself away, alone, with whatever new thing he was studying."

 

I highlighted "to be forced" here because I don't think encouraging Fëanor to socialize would necessary have to be by force. The way I read it in the first chapters, Fëanor wasn't very interested but had also no motivation to do so coming from his parents. There are plenty of ways Finwë could have coaxed him to have such interactions, or to try to make him more comfortable. The problem with the party is that he's dragging Fëanor against his will, to an unknown place, with plenty of unknown people: that's way out of his comfort zone. He could have tried, I don't know, inviting one or two other childs for snacks with his sons best liked cakes somewhere Fëanor feels comfortable, gone for a walk with another parent and his/her child or perhaps have him meet the slightly older child of some of his teachers, with whom he would have been able to read? IDK, but I felt like Finwë didn't even try to encourage him before he tried to force him and didn't chose the kind of outing that would appeal to his son. He should have tried to make his son understand that he can actually share his intellectual pursuits with others and that could be a way of socializing.

"Three!  Wow, that’s young.  I’m really curious to know what country you live in now!  Where I live school isn’t mandatory until kindergarten which is 5-6 years old."

I'm from France :) Well it isn't mandatory until children are 6, actually, but in my country the "ideal" situation is when both parents work, so some children are actually starting to socialize betwen 1 and 2 years old, which is considered "good" because it helps them get accustomed to other children before they get to school at 3. I'm not saying all children are educated like this, I think it may be a bit different when the mother or father remains home, but it's not the usual choice, mostly because kindergarten is free so it's basically free children-minding for everyone.

 



Author's Response:

Thanks for continuing this discussion!  You are making me feel guilty for writing Finwe like I did lol  I honestly didn’t have anything much against him until I started writing.  I mean, I thought he wasn’t a great father and made some poor choices, but it turned out he was a worse father then I’d thought!  Well, when we start writing we have to look deeper at the characters, and the more I examined him the more frustrated I became with a lot of his choices :(

I totally agree with you 100% about how Finwe should have tried other ways to get Feanor to socialize.  I think the problem I have with Finwe in that scene where he makes Feanor go to the party is exactly as you pointed out: it was forced socialization.  I don’t think that’s either the right thing for a parent to do or the way to get their child to enjoy spending time with other children.  I have such a strong negative reaction to what Finwe did because I myself am an introvert and I have a younger brother who used to act a lot like Feanor did when he was forced to socialize (minus the temper tantrum, it was very passive aggressive resistance, but he used to hide and do other things that would drive my mother crazy since he always made us late lol).  But anyway, I don’t think being forced to socialize in a setting like a party with strangers is the way to go about getting a child to spend time with their peers, in fact the opposite since it will often lead to social humiliation or ostracization (we see this in school settings too, kids that aren’t good at interacting with their peers are forced into it and that doesn’t necessarily produce a child who makes friends but rather one who is bullied or ignored by their peers).

“He could have tried, I don't know, inviting one or two other childs for snacks with his sons best liked cakes somewhere Fëanor feels comfortable, gone for a walk with another parent and his/her child or perhaps have him meet the slightly older child of some of his teachers, with whom he would have been able to read? IDK, but I felt like Finwë didn't even try to encourage him before he tried to force him and didn't chose the kind of outing that would appeal to his son. He should have tried to make his son understand that he can actually share his intellectual pursuits with others and that could be a way of socializing.

Yes to all this!  If only Finwe had tried a different method of socializing things would have gone so much better.  He should have chosen another intelligent child to introduce Feanor to, just the two of them in a comfortable environment.  Maybe they wouldn’t have hit it off, but it would have been alright if it had just been the two kids and not a room full of other kids ready to step in with the group humiliation, you know?

I just feel like with this scene it really shows that Finwe doesn’t know Feanor.  We can see it in other scenes to, this lack of understanding his own son, but it’s terribly apparent in this one.  It’s not that I think Finwe doesn’t love Feanor, he does, but he doesn’t understand him.

“I'm from France :) Well it isn't mandatory until children are 6, actually, but in my country the "ideal" situation is when both parents work, so some children are actually starting to socialize betwen 1 and 2 years old, which is considered "good" because it helps them get accustomed to other children before they get to school at 3.

 

Ah, I understand now!  It’s not to different where I live (America), most kids have daycare and almost all some form of pre-school, but it’s not mandatory and it’s not uncommon to have stay at home mom or dads who don’t send their kids to those so I don’t know how often those kids are socialized…and I am not sure if socializing as young as 1 to 2 is a thing here?  I don’t have any kids of my own, thank goodness lol



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 28, 2016 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

"Ah, this is good to hear, and makes me feel better :)  And you are so right, not every character can be the ‘good guy.’  This is actually how I think about Irime, she’s not a good person, but she is a complex human being (or at least I hope she comes off that way lol), as long as she stirs emotion in my readers, be that negative or positive, then I am doing something right :grins: "

I hate your Irimë as a person but I like her as a character, more about her when I'll come to her chapters :)

"I don’t want to set myself up in a place to judge whether or not you are an introvert or extrovert, both are good and have their own set of strengths.  I would say though that if you don’t mind socializing a lot you might be an extrovert.  I think of it this way: an introvert gains energy from solitude and finds long social situations exhausting, while an extrovert gains energy from being around other people.  That doesn’t mean introverts can’t enjoy spending time with other people, just that they won’t seek out lots of social situations.  Sometimes it’s hard to determine if someone is an introvert or extrovert because there are different levels."

That's exactly how I feel most of the time, just that usually people tire me because of anxiety/not understanding subtles things/perhaps an hint of paranoia. It's not that I don't like people but even my own family require an effort from me (and my family is quite alright). It's different when I'm not really socializing : an history presentation doesn't tire me at all but an evening in a pub does, which probably explains why I connect a lot with your Fëanor even if I'm seriously not as brilliant as he is XD


Chapter 4 !

Baby Fingolfin calling his toy horse "Rochallor" makes me wonder (at the adult Fingolfin who called his real horse Rochallor). It's very cute. It's also proving that Finwë still hasn't hired any nurse to keep children out of the library, since Fingolfin cannot even read yet, so obviously he has nothing to do in this room in the first place. [I found out later that he was with Indis so there's some improvement in the palace !]

Fingolfin is like the proof that Fëanor can actually socialize ! All it takes is overfriendly kids. Very overfriendly kids cornering him in a library all of their own.

There's a lone hideous mistake : "Didn’t he having anything better to do?"

I didn't find Fëanor very likable in the second part of the chapter, mostly because he seems to be very lacking in empathy, or even basic respect for other people's personnality. I didn't feel like he appreciates Fingolfin, but rather that he appreciates the admiration and the possibility of projecting himself on someone, and if Fingolfin doesn't conform to his wishes, then he's just annoying and should go. It's a trait of Fëanor we see a lot later in the fic but it was already there as child... for someone who takes so hard rules that make him uncomfortable, who suffered so much because of other's expectations, he surely should look himself in a mirror sometimes !



Author's Response:

 “Baby Fingolfin calling his toy horse "Rochallor" makes me wonder (at the adult Fingolfin who called his real horse Rochallor). It's very cute.

:grins: I felt really self-indulgent writing little Fingolfin cause he was just too much fun and way too cute for his own good.  Even Feanor couldn’t resist lol

It's also proving that Finwë still hasn't hired any nurse to keep children out of the library, since Fingolfin cannot even read yet, so obviously he has nothing to do in this room in the first place. [I found out later that he was with Indis so there's some improvement in the palace !]

Yep, no nurses :)  But yeah, Indis was watching him but she fell asleep (I can’t remember how far along in her pregnancy she was here, but she needed a nap lol). 

“There's a lone hideous mistake : "Didn’t he having anything better to do?"”

Thank you for pointing this out!  As you can probably tell from past mistakes, I don’t have a beta and am not the best at proof-reading :( 

“I didn't find Fëanor very likable in the second part of the chapter, mostly because he seems to be very lacking in empathy, or even basic respect for other people's personnality. I didn't feel like he appreciates Fingolfin, but rather that he appreciates the admiration and the possibility of projecting himself on someone, and if Fingolfin doesn't conform to his wishes, then he's just annoying and should go. It's a trait of Fëanor we see a lot later in the fic but it was already there as child... for someone who takes so hard rules that make him uncomfortable, who suffered so much because of other's expectations, he surely should look himself in a mirror sometimes !

I think you are right that Feanor is not the most empathetic person, and you are also right that Feanor likes to be listened to whether that be Fingolfin or later the lords and other people who he feels never take him seriously or listen to what he’s saying.  He often gets frustrated over this.  He is someone who thinks he’s right, and it’s very hard for him to see a time when he was in the wrong, but I think if someone can convince him that he was wrong (or evidence proves it) then he would be swift to admit he was wrong.   He has a ton of pride, but it’s not the kind of pride that would have him stubbornly refusing to admit to a mistake I think.  It of course doesn’t help that he usually is right (when it comes to a debate or something intellectual he’s probably never been proved wrong, but when it comes to understanding the people around him he frequently is). 

I think everything you just pointed out are some of Feanor’s worst and most damaging flaws, and it’s really sad to me that it was Fingolfin who suffered the most because of them.  Feanor didn’t understand Fingolfin, he judged him again and again, and it all led to the disaster that was the tangled web of lies and rumors that had Feanor drawing his sword on Fingolfin :(

 



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 28, 2016 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Chapter 5 !

"Father had told him that Fëanor was going through a ‘stage in preparation for adulthood’ and not to let it worry him for Fëanor would soon return to normal."

I loved this sentence the first time and still love it.

I said in my last review that talking about intellectual pursuits is one of the ways I can socialize without tiring, and I feel it's quite the same for Fëanor in this chapter. I also said that he was disrespectful of others, and that trait shows again when he clearly believes to be right in eveything, even intellectually, and clearly doesn't even consider that anyone can be right when he isn't. I wonder if at this point, he was ever proven wrong or failed at something; that may actually do him some good.

"Fëanor’s eyes darted away from the face shoved very close to his own. He fidgeted with the pages of his precious books before slamming them all closed and pushing them about in unnecessarily tidy piles."

Your Fëanor as a tendency to make tidy piles when he's really nervous.

"Fëanor mocked him! Fingolfin was not about to let Fëanor turn this into a game. It was deadly serious."

Ah ah if only Fëanor was mocking him. How much suffering would have been avoided ?

“You can never tell anyone about this. Not ever Father. Especially not Father.” Fëanor didn’t wait for Fingolfin’s reply. He stormed away, leaving Fingolfin discarded, his heart bruised, on the floor.

Yep because I'm sure Finwë would have found some awesome way of solving this situation.

 

Nerdanel, Fëanor and their relationship

One of the things that usually bother me in Fëanor/Fingolfin fics is how Nerdanel gets glossed over, how she doesn't mean anything or whatever. We can't know in the books if their love was real or not (what happens in their heart or chamber belongs to them alone), but we did know there was something from the way Tolkien wrote them... cutting Nerdanel out just because she doesn't have Fingolfin's abs always felt like cutting away a part of Fëanor's characterization from the books, because he chose someone a) not known as beautiful and b) not from his social class c) who is intellectually brillant with shared interests, and that tells a LOT about him.

I liked that you managed (thorough the whole fic) to write Fëanor as someone who isn't physically attracted to Nerdanel, yet you created a believable companionship between them. They had seven children together and, if there was no friendship, nothing, and Fëanor just wanted "a mother for his children", then he would just be an horrible person and bashing Finwë for his remarriage would just be hypocrisy.

 



Author's Response:

“I loved this sentence the first time and still love it.

Thank you!

“I said in my last review that talking about intellectual pursuits is one of the ways I can socialize without tiring, and I feel it's quite the same for Fëanor in this chapter.

Yes, I can see this too now you pointed it out.  It seems like all, or at least most, of his socializing happens revolving around intellectual pursuits.  We don’t see him just hanging out with other people at this time in his life….I think this is a really challenging time for him not only because he’s a teenager and all that but because he hasn’t proved himself yet and is still being disregarded by the respected intellectuals in their society who he considers himself the equal of. 

“I also said that he was disrespectful of others, and that trait shows again when he clearly believes to be right in eveything, even intellectually, and clearly doesn't even consider that anyone can be right when he isn't. I wonder if at this point, he was ever proven wrong or failed at something; that may actually do him some good.

I doubt he has been proved wrong many times as yet.  He thinks he’s right because he usually is.  Feanor doesn’t understand the concept of humility lol  In a way he does consider himself the superior of those around him …yet at the same time he doesn’t and we can see that in the way he interacts with his people.  I think Feanor doesn’t automatically look down on someone because of their intellectual level or think himself their superior, what it is is that he will start doing so if that person proves themselves to be narrow-minded in their ignorance.  There are plenty of people amongst his own people who don’t share his high intellect but he doesn’t consider them beneath him.  He does look down on a lot of the lords and ladies and master ect though because of their attitude.  That’s what the deal breaker is for him I think.  He judges people on that not their IQ.

“felt like cutting away a part of Fëanor's characterization from the books, because he chose someone a) not known as beautiful and b) not from his social class c) who is intellectually brillant with shared interests, and that tells a LOT about him.

I agree with you so much that the fact that he chose Nerdanel shows so much about who he was as a person!  And I love love love that he chose her and not some woman who is described in the Tolkien-way as beautiful but her characterization ends at that.

I tried hard when writing this story to not just brush Nerdanel aside, so I am really glad that this came through in the writing!  Like, I think the two of them grew apart as people and chose different paths and that’s why their marriage failed, but I do think that they were good friends when they married.  I just like the idea of Feanor choosing one of his closest friends to be his wife :grins:

 

Thank you for these last two reviews!  They brightened my day :)



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 25, 2016 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

"Thanks for continuing this discussion!  You are making me feel guilty for writing Finwe like I did lol  I honestly didn’t have anything much against him until I started writing.  I mean, I thought he wasn’t a great father and made some poor choices, but it turned out he was a worse father then I’d thought!  Well, when we start writing we have to look deeper at the characters, and the more I examined him the more frustrated I became with a lot of his choices :("

Discussing stories is every author's dream! I find it kinda ungrateful not to review long fics I like, especially when I have things to say (sometimes I like a story but don't know why, that's when reviewing is hard).

I don't think you have to feel guilty. I have some sympathy for Finwë because I am uncomfortable around children and I honestly to know how parents manage to bear their own children, but that doesn't mean he's badly written at all! Finwë is often a very flat character, he's Fëanor dad, he loves him, his son loves him aaaaaaaaand... his characterization hardly ever goes farther than that. He may be an horrible father but at least he gets SOME characterization. Plus not every characters has to be actually good at what he/she does.

"I totally agree with you 100% about how Finwe should have tried other ways to get Feanor to socialize.  I think the problem I have with Finwe in that scene where he makes Feanor go to the party is exactly as you pointed out: it was forced socialization.  I don’t think that’s either the right thing for a parent to do or the way to get their child to enjoy spending time with other children.  I have such a strong negative reaction to what Finwe did because I myself am an introvert and I have a younger brother who used to act a lot like Feanor did when he was forced to socialize (minus the temper tantrum, it was very passive aggressive resistance, but he used to hide and do other things that would drive my mother crazy since he always made us late lol).  But anyway, I don’t think being forced to socialize in a setting like a party with strangers is the way to go about getting a child to spend time with their peers, in fact the opposite since it will often lead to social humiliation or ostracization (we see this in school settings too, kids that aren’t good at interacting with their peers are forced into it and that doesn’t necessarily produce a child who makes friends but rather one who is bullied or ignored by their peers)."

I think I'm introvert myself, I am always very anxious about what people think and how they behave and I mostly don't understand subtelities, but I don't think I really had any problem socializing, mostly because I was never forced (there was no room at the local nursery so I got a nurse with a kid my age, then I socialized with the other "bright kids" of my class and tada). I just had a big laugh behind my screen when I tried to put myself in Fëanor's place aaaaaaaand... remembering how I behaved at this time, I would have hit the boy. I could socialize with myself all I wanted (playing by myself in imaginary worlds), but if someone bothered me, running away wasn't my answer. I DID hit some people. I remember dragging a girl by the hair when I was Fëanor's "age". Perhaps it comes from having a bigger brother.

Comparing the two (how I could use violence to "defend" myself even against mere words whereas Fëanor doesn't), I think we often misjudge Fëanor. He is often seen as a violent character because he drew a sword against Fingolfin, but in your fanfic I don't think he ever acted in a violent manner before that point toward anyone. Perhaps it's because he's far older than Fingolfin but he COULD have used force, and that wouldn't make him an horrible person (I mean my brother and I used physical force against each other until he grew up and we had a full head between each others).



Author's Response:

 

“Discussing stories is every author's dream!”

Yes, it really is!  I think what I love most about it is that discussions will inspire me or point out things about the story/characters I hadn’t looked at that way.  That’s the best feeling ever :)

“(sometimes I like a story but don't know why, that's when reviewing is hard).”

I know what you mean, been there too.

“Finwë is often a very flat character, he's Fëanor dad, he loves him, his son loves him aaaaaaaaand... his characterization hardly ever goes farther than that. He may be an horrible father but at least he gets SOME characterization. Plus not every characters has to be actually good at what he/she does.”

Ah, this is good to hear, and makes me feel better :)  And you are so right, not every character can be the ‘good guy.’  This is actually how I think about Irime, she’s not a good person, but she is a complex human being (or at least I hope she comes off that way lol), as long as she stirs emotion in my readers, be that negative or positive, then I am doing something right :grins:

“I think I'm introvert myself, I am always very anxious about what people think and how they behave and I mostly don't understand subtelities, but I don't think I really had any problem socializing, mostly because I was never foced”

I don’t want to set myself up in a place to judge whether or not you are an introvert or extrovert, both are good and have their own set of strengths.  I would say though that if you don’t mind socializing a lot you might be an extrovert.  I think of it this way: an introvert gains energy from solitude and finds long social situations exhausting, while an extrovert gains energy from being around other people.  That doesn’t mean introverts can’t enjoy spending time with other people, just that they won’t seek out lots of social situations.  Sometimes it’s hard to determine if someone is an introvert or extrovert because there are different levels. 

“I just had a big laugh behind my screen when I tried to put myself in Fëanor's place aaaaaaaand... remembering how I behaved at this time, I would have hit the boy. I could socialize with myself all I wanted (playing by myself in imaginary worlds), but if someone bothered me, running away wasn't my answer. I DID hit some people. I remember dragging a girl by the hair when I was Fëanor's "age". Perhaps it comes from having a bigger brother.”

OMG.  Now I understand why you don’t like kids lol, it sounds like even as a kid yourself you preferred to be alone then in their company :)  Kids really can be cruel with their words.  I actually work at an elementary school and I see even kindergarteners bullying their peers, spreading lies around, lying to teachers, and being downright manipulative.

“I think we often misjudge Fëanor. He is often seen as a violent character because he drew a sword against Fingolfin, but in your fanfic I don't think he ever acted in a violent manner before that point toward anyone. Perhaps it's because he's far older than Fingolfin but he COULD have used force, and that wouldn't make him an horrible person (I mean my brother and I used physical force against each other until he grew up and we had a full head between each others).”

Yes to all this!  I absolutely cannot stand it when Feanor is portrayed as violent!  Especially portrayed as an abusive parent!  Ugh!  There is absolutely no evidence to support this, and in my view everything points AGAINST it!  You are right that the only instance of recorded aggression we see (before the kinslaying) was the sword drawing instance, and here, like you pointed out, he used his words to threaten more than his body.  That said, threatening to kill someone and putting a sword to their throat is violent in my opinion, and not the way he should have handled that situation.  However, I am not surprised it went down that way with all the lies spread around, Feanor’s paranoia, and then hearing what Fingolfin said about him to their father at the council that day.  Fingolfin was obviously trying to provoke a reaction out of him, and knew just how to go about getting one.  I don’t think Fingolfin was blameless in the whole business, but nor do I think Feanor justified in reacting as he did.  But it is Morgoth I blame first, and the Valar, and even Finwe more than Feanor or FIngolfin for letting the situation in his family deteriorate to such a state :(

 

 



Title: In the Hall of the Elvenking by ziggy
Rated: General Audiences [ - ]
Summary:

Something has stirred in the Wood. There is conflict and unease in the Thranduil's stronghold and he suspects something to do with Thorin Oakenshield. Bilbo in the Halls of the Elvenking, a Ring and a sword. Warning: slash - bound to be at some point. Sex certainly

(The Desolation of Smaug and BoTFA from the Wood-elves pov.) Warning: slash in later chapters. Violence.

 

The story of There and Back Again from the Woodelves’ perspective. 

 

For Spiced Wine, Cheekybeak and Naledi. Thank you for keeping me going. Sorry- this is not quite in the Sons of Thunder arc exactly, but very much in that vein - I just miss writing Elrohir and Legolas!!

 

 

 

Note: This follows Black Arrow although it does not require you to have read that in order to enjoy this. Suffice to say that Thranduil struck a bargain with Smaug in order to retrieve the black arrow that he then gives to Bard’s ancestor. In this way it is passed down to Bard so he can kill Smaug. Smaug demands that Thranduil send someone to renew the bargain every ten years. It is that time. The warriors who go to Erebor to pledge peace are called the Danedh-Amlung, Dragon’s Ransom.


Category: Fiction
Characters: Legolas
Content: Action/Adventure
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 7 | Completed: No | Word count: 17646 | Read count: 2790

[Report This]
Published: April 16, 2016 | Updated: June 02, 2016


Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 11, 2016 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Anglach stalking the dwarves is kinda cute. I don't know if Thorïn (and the "female dwarf") would like to hear his thoughts, his face would be princeless !

I'm curious about Smaug/Thalos. Is it going to happen ? Is poor Thalos going to get ensnared forever ? I'm moving to next chapter :)



Author's Response:

Well if you look at the chronolgy- the dwarves probably get to Smaug before Thalos has to- but that will stay with him and forever he will feel he wasn't quite good enough.

I love Anglach:(



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 11, 2016 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 Anglach's dwarf

Anglach is Hagrid's past life isn't he? He looks like he seriously needs to get out of the Woods sometime. Discover the world. Learn about other races. Visit some places. He'd probably love the Shire, since what he likes about dwarves is them being small.



Author's Response:

Sorry- who is Hagrid?? I am being thick I know but work is sooo busy and my brain hurts:(

Yes- Anglach should have a lot more to his life, but ...just remembered you haven't read More Dangerous yet? So no spoilers unless you want them.

 

I love the idea that he might liek Hobbits- think I'll put that in if that;s OK with you:)



Reviewer: Kalendeer Signed
Date: May 13, 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Prologue

Hagrid is a character from Harry Potter. He loves animals, the more dangerous the better, and always has very... weird reactions, a bit like Anglach in front of the dwarves but basically for every gross creature on earth, while everyone around him is like "Hagrid no please don't take it home it's really really not cute".



Author's Response:

Ah- OK. Thanks. I have not read HP. NOw I recognise the name - thank you!! Yes, Anglach has no sense of danger in this.