Faramir had a headache. He had been here for hours with Aragorn trying to sort out the accommodation for the elves expected to be arriving in Minas Tirith for the coronation and he was no closer to understanding any of it. It was all so complicated.
"Can we just go over this one more time Aragorn? I just haven't quite got it."
Aragorn took a deep breath.
"Right, listen carefully this time. Elladan and Elrohir must go next to each other. They don't cope well with separation. And Elrohir must go next to Legolas."
Faramir scribbled notes hurriedly and nodded.
"And Glorfindel next to Elladan......but Elladan far away from Legolas because they don't really get on."
Aragorn didn't give him a chance to ask his question but carried on regardless.
"Erestor next to Glorfindel, they are as thick as thieves. But Galadriel nowhere near either of those two. I have heard the stories about what the three of them get up to when they are drinking."
He paused briefly to think,
"My Father could go by Erestor, they get on. But not near Galadriel, she gives him a hard time and it will make him miserable, I don't want that. "
Faramir sighed heavily and put a big line through one of his ideas.
"Then where do I put Galadriel?"
It took Aragorn awhile to answer and even then he didn't sound certain.
"Legolas? I don't think he has any issues with her. Thranduil has, but I think Legolas is ok."
"But what about Gimli?!" Faramir cried in frustration.
"Look, just give it to me." Aragorn snatched the floor plans out of his hands and scrawled wildly all over it.
"There!" he pushed them back towards Faramir. "That will work, it was simple."
Faramir glanced down at what he had written. It would work! How had he done that?
"Now." Aragorn continued, elbows on the table, "You haven't forgotten the other things we need have you?"
Faramir rubbed his head, no he hadn't forgotten those but he had no idea where he would get them from.
"Can you..." He began.
"One more time?" Aragorn sighed and he nodded thankfully.
"We need a large open space for Elladan and Glorfindel. They need to run around together. And Elrohir and Legolas will need a supply of bushes, and somewhere to plant them."
"Can we not just plant them for them ourselves somewhere?" He asked.
"No! It's the planting that is the whole point."
Faramir had no idea where Aragorn thought he was going to get all this green space from. Didn't he realise this was a walled city and space was of the essence.
"Legolas probably needs some trees too," Aragorn continued thoughtfully, "and get rid of the gulls."
"Get rid of the gulls?"
"Yes, shoot them or something," Aragorn waved his hand dismissively,
"If there are any."
"But Aragorn, your brothers and Legolas have been here some time without all these requirements and they seem happy."
"They are on their best behaviour. They won't be able to keep it up. They will all start arguing and believe me you don't want that to happen!"
After hours dealing with the stress of discussing this Faramir did believe him, in fact Aragorn seemed quite distressed at the thought.
He pushed back his chair and went to leave, their discussion was obviously finally at an end.
"Oh, one last thing," Aragorn said as he headed to the door, " You couldn't find my Father a plan of the plumbing here? He will probably want a tour too......if you could manage it."
"A tour of the plumbing?" Faramir wondered, not for the first time, if he had heard correctly.
"Yes." Aragorn looked surprised at his asking, as if it was completely understandable why one of the oldest and wisest of Elven Leaders would want to inspect the Gondorians plumbing.
Faramir gave up, he really did.
He glanced down again at the sleeping plan and suddenly realised they had left someone out.
Aragorn paused in the doorway and swung round to look at him.
"What about the Lady Arwen? Where do I put her?"
Aragorn's shoulders slumped.
"As far away from me as possible."he said dejectedly,
"Next to Elrond. He will want to keep her under lock and key." And he sighed loudly as he strode from the room.
Hmm, Faramir thought to himself as he watched him go. Obviously when your Father and Father in Law were the same person it did cause some problems.
That at least was something he could
The continuing adventures of my slightly insane group of Elves. Comes between Deep and Meaningful and Walls of Glass, if you want to get your bearings. This should eventually explain exactly why it is Elladan and Legolas have SO many issues.
This chapter contains a myriad of references back to previous stories. Sorry about that! Next chapters should be a bit more self explanatory.