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What's in a name? by ziggy, Naledi, cheekybeak

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Story notes:

This began as just a bit of a laugh between Cheekybeak and me, then Nash joined and then Naledi. Barking mad. Loosely based on my sons of Thunder arc- you will never be able to read it again without sniggering! Why am I doing this!!

Chapter notes:

Shameless piss-taking!

Thranduil was in a contemplative mood. Something was up with Elrond, he could feel it. He just couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. He gazed around the dining hall, all appeared normal, no clues there.

 

 

He watched as a rather pretty petite elf approached the table. There was something familiar about her features. Something...he just couldn't put his finger on it. Did she look a bit like Elrond? He was sure he knew all of Elrond’s family though, after all there weren't that many of them, a long lost relative perhaps. 

 

 

 

Beside him Elrond sighed, he sounded completely defeated. 

 

 

 

"Thranduil," he said, " may I introduce my grandchild."

 

 

 

Thranduil’s eyebrows shot up to the ceiling in surprise. 

 

 

 

" Your what?!" He can't have heard that right. 

 

 

 

The pretty elf in front of him mumbled something he didn't catch as Elrond dismissed her. There was something odd about her voice, a slightly gravelly sound. She was obviously painfully shy.

 

 

 

He turned to Elrond.

 

 

 

" Grandchild? Did I hear right? Whose??..."

 

 

 

"Elrohir's." Elrond muttered angrily.

 

 

 

Oh this was good! Thranduil thought. No wonder Elrond was melancholy. For years he had worried about Legolas showing up dragging some random offspring behind him and having to put up with Elrond’s smug sanctimonious gloating. Now Elrohir had beat him to it! No matter what Legolas did now Elrond would not be able to lord it over him, not at all!

 

 

 

He smiled brightly. What a wonderful day this was turning out to be.

 

 

 

"You didn't introduce her properly Elrond. What is her name?"

 

 

 

"Luke." Elrond mumbled into his food so Thranduil wondered if he had heard correctly. 

 

 

 

"Luke? Is that even a name?"

 

 

 

"Ask Elrohir. It was his idea." Elrond snapped 

 

 

 

"Luke Elrohirion...... For goodness sake Elrond what a mouthful. Could you not have overruled him? For the child's sake."

 

 

 

"Rather difficult when we are NOT SPEAKING!"

 

 

 

Oh Elrond was obviously taking this very badly, could it get any better?

 

 

 

He gazed back down the table towards the child, She was at least quite attractive....but now that he looked carefully....was it a girl? Or maybe.....a boy? He found he could not be sure. He certainly couldn't tell from that ludicrous name. He wondered how to phrase the question without causing terrible offence but in the end gave up. If he offended Elrond so be it, that had never stopped him before.

 

 

 

"Is it a boy or a girl Elrond? I am afraid I can't tell."

 

 

 

"We are unsure."

 

 

 

He was rather taken aback by that, Elrond was supposed to be an expert healer. He had children of his own for goodness sake.....how could he not tell?

 

 

 

"Unsure? How is that possible?"

 

 

 

"It is hard to tell.....with them....."

 

 

 

" With them? Who are they?"

 

 

 

Elrond slumped lower. As if he wished he could disappear under the table,

 

 

 

"Dwarves." He said through gritted teeth. 

 

 

 

"Dwarves?" Thranduil could not believe his ears, "The child's mother is a dwarf?? You mean Elrohir has.......with a dwarf?!"

 

 

 

"Shut up Thranduil." Elrond hissed, 

 

" I do not need to have Elrohir's misdeeds spelt out to me! I am quite aware of exactly what he has done."

 

 

 

Thranduil was gleeful. He could not have planned this better himself if he had tried. Then he frowned as a rather disconcerting thought crossed his mind. Legolas had become very entwined with Elrohir lately. He had had his concerns of course but he had eventually decided to turn a blind eye as the boy was so happy but now........ He shuddered as he wondered exactly what kind of deviant behaviour his precious son was being exposed to. Obviously it had to stop, he resolved to speak with Legolas at his first opportunity. He didn't care how upset he would be, he was not going to take the risk Legolas might be drawn into this......dwarvish fetish. Hanging around with that Gimli all the time was quite bad enough.

 

He found his eyes returning to the dwarf/elf child. What even did you call it he wondered, an elarf? No that was ridiculous, a dwelf? Ah yes that sounded better, he would call it a Dwelf. He knew he was staring and it was incredibly rude but he simply couldn't help it. The child fascinated him. What was the point of being a king if you couldn't be rude once in awhile? He narrowed his eyes and looked closer, was that what he thought it was? Could it be........a beard? Yes he was sure of it, the Dwelf had a beard.

 

He couldn't suppress the giggle that escaped him as a bubble of happiness rose within him.

Elrond's grandchild had a beard!

 

At that moment a flash of gold in the corner of his eye diverted his attention and he swung to watch as Glorfindel strode through the door.

God he was gorgeous Thranduil thought, so divine, and did he have to walk SO provocatively?

 

All thoughts of the Dwelf vanished from his mind and Thranduil found himself totally and utterly distracted.

 

o0o0o

 

 

tbc