Vanimorë the vigilatine. That was... grim, although perhaps not undeserved.

'Armed and free he would have faced wargs without flinching, but bound as he was he would only be able to watch, and feel as they devoured him – a bad death, not a warriors death, but swifter than fading from the rape...

---"Do strive for a little imagination, sweeting, there are no wargs this far south in Rhovannion. "---

Laughed at this. Nice and dry.

Author's Response: That was a grim chapter, yes. Van is not, shall we say, 'Nice'. I didn't want to, and couldn't realistically portray him as some-one who lived under the shadow and 'ownership' of Sauron, and have him as a 'nice guy'. The fact that he can love, feel outrage for crimes, and not be a bitter, black and twisted character is the thing I was really dealing with when writing him - and why. Thank-you again!

Someone should really tell Maglor that making oaths is not a smart thing to do... Of course, you'd think he would have learned this himself by now from past experience!

Author's Response: He should indeed have learned. I think the Fëanorions are intransigent and occasionally blinkered in what they do to a degree that makes me exhausted to think of it. But Maglor is still unbalanced, and I suppose an Oath is something to cling to.

Firstly... woah, did we just leap forward in time a lot?? I had to go back and check I hadn't accidentally skipped a chapter. What happened with Elgalad and Malthador??

Secondly:

----The piteousness of the plea sent a thrill of unnameable emotion through Vanimórë. He fought an impulse to strike Elgalad, destroy his innocence and love and walk away, severing the ties that bound them to one another. He needed to demonstrate that such bindings were weak, deserving of nothing but scorn and in the end, death. Elgalad had glimpsed what Vanimórë could be, what he could do. And he still trusted him.
Loved him.----

This whole scene was lovely and poignant. So much love and fear and pain evinced so beautifully.

Thirdly: Vanimorë has good taste; sandalwood is my favourite scent.

Fourthly (and most irrelevantly) I LOVE that you included a booming bittern in this chapter. Bitterns are amazing, my fiancé and myself have been searching for a bittern for a long time at the London Wetlands Centre and we were finally lucky enough to spot one a few weeks ago. It was a wonderful moment but I when I told all my friends none of them seemed to know what a bittern was! I cradled my bittern mug and was delighted to find your middle earth bittern haha :)

Author's Response: It's okay - yes, I did jump forward, although Malthador and Elgalad isn't quite finished with, but that's explained later.
Vanimórë will make a rod for his own back if any-one gives him one in this case, Elgalad. At the bottom, he can't see how any-one could love him. But Elgalad can give him all he needs, if Vanimórë would let him - or were in a position to let him.

Sandalwood. yes, I love it. It's supposed to be a masculine scent, but I always have a bottle, (even though the genuine article is almost impossible to get now) and when I first envisaged Vanimórë, that was his scent. (:

The bittern! I have never actually heard a bittern, sadly :( My uncle taught me about birds, and took me bird-spotting on every walk we went on, and he had some super books. He remembered bitterns in his youth, but they were pretty rare even then. (Of course I always hoped to hear or even see one) He said their call was an amazing sound to hear, and when I heard it on a documentary, I remembered it ever after.
Lol, no-one has ever remarked on my bittern, but I thought that they would definitely be around in Middle-earth. So even if I can't see or hear one, the characters can :) I am very pleased you did manage to see one!

The juxtaposition of these two scenes- the peace and tranquility of the first set against the brutality, the utter degradation, of the second- is wonderfully done. It really brings the dichotomy of Van's existence into sharp relief for me.

The last line is perfect. Utterly.

Author's Response: Oh, thank-you. I didn't write it with any intention of showing the juxtaposition of tranquility and horror, but perhaps to show how Van cherishes, truly savours peace, even though he is (still) being made into a weapon of war. (Also, writing tranquil scenes makes me remember my childhood, so I enjoy them (:)

It was nice for Van to have a little respite for a few chapters/half a century; Elgalad must have been a balm to his soul... now in whose lovely work did I read the phrase 'since his birth, his son had been an arrow aimed at his heart'? I think it was Jael talking about Thranduil and Legolas but I think the same sentiment can be applied here too. If Elgalad ends up in Mordor, what extra leverage Sauron would have!


""I do, but it's in a different story: Magnificat of the Damned: Book I ~ Starfall.
That story begins with the coming of the Noldor to Middle-earth to the Last Alliance, and is mainly told from their point of view, although there is a little of Van ( he is around throughout that time, of course, but his path does not cross the Elves much) including when he is capture by the Last Alliance. Chapter 44,45 and 46 I think, so at the end. ""

Thanks, I'll have to have a sneaky peak later. :)

Author's Response: Thank-you Merin; it was relaxing actually to write that part of the story. The 'arrow aimed at his heart' is very true. (I have read that myself in a book, and thought it a beautiful phrase).

Great chapter. Really putting the flesh of emotion on the bones of the Silm description x

Author's Response: Thank-you very much indeed. I have to admit, I wrote this several years back, and sometimes I don't remember exactly what I wrote! XD but I am very pleased that I managed to add a little bit of 'flesh'. :)

Sauron is utterly chilling. 'It's alright to cry...' that did make me shudder. I kinda feel like in the books (I think, it's been a while, oops) and certainly the film Sauron is this generic faceless (literally) evil and that does detract somewhat from his evilness so to speak. He just isn't really a character so there's no emotional connection either way.

Your Sauron is a character all right. Cold, calculating, chilling and adept at some vicious psychological warfare...

...

Has Vanya's soul actually gone to the void? I hope not!

Author's Response: Sauron is this generic faceless (literally) evil and that does detract somewhat from his evilness so to speak. He just isn't really a character so there's no emotional connection either way.

This is true; in fact Tolkien said he did not want to explore Morgoth or Sauron, as he felt it would not be spiritually healthy, but as Vanimórë is Sauron's son, I can't have Sauron remaining faceless. (I don't write much from his POV in this, admittedly, more in A Light in the East and its sequel, but I obviously do have to include him)

We don't learn about Vanya until the third story in this series, although Vanimórë does not believe she is in the Void, as she had done nothing, and back then, he still believed in mercy for innocent souls.
Thank-you very much for commenting again; I appreciate it. (:

‘This was the first time Vanimórë had seen a host of Elves assembled for battle, and it well-nigh broke his heart.
The sorrow threatened to unman him. So magnificent did the Elves appear to him, accoutered for battle, their rippling banners and long hair caught by the wind, faces beautiful, eyes like earth-fallen stars.’

It is so heart breaking that Van is forced to kill who he feels love and kinship toward. You make me feel his loathing of it.


‘ He felt his father's eyes on him, and in a movement quicker than the eye could follow he drew his dagger from its thigh-sheath and plunged it into Celebrimbor's heart. Then he turned. There was brittle satisfaction in his eyes.
"Is that not what thou didst want, my Lord?" ‘

‘Vanimore shook his head, then swore suddenly and violently.
''Take the horse! Go on, take him! Ride north to the army of Elrond.'' He pointed through the night. ''There is no time to waste here. Mount up, I will help the lady.''
Folding his arms, he watched them vanish, and then softly, he began to laugh.
''Thy slave I may be, father,'' he whispered. ''Yet unless thou wouldst utterly break my mind, and thereby render me useless to thee, I will essay to defy thee.'' ‘

One has to admire Vanimórë’s compassion many times over. There are those small battles of the heart in which he wins his own inner victory, at a price. As he admits, Sauron would have to make him an automaton to take this attribute. It must grate at his father’s nerves.

This is a particularly wonderful chapter, seeing the elves assembled for battle through Van’s eyes, and seeing Sauron denied his victory.

Author's Response: Thank-you, Encairion. Vanimórë always longed to be counted among the Elves, so having to fight them was particularly awful for him. There is much he cannot do, but when he can, he does kick against the pricks.

I am completely and utterly...gobsmacked.

And I will tell you this right now: I never, ever, ever want to hear you maligning your writing or denigrating your talents again.  It is not to be borne. I swear, I will storm off in a virtual huff the next time I witness it.  That is MY oath. Because this is genius.  Really and truly.  You have given Tolkien's world a depth and bredth only hinted at in canon.  The antipathy between the Elves and the Valar is palpable and fully justifiable; the fire of the Feanorians burns to the bone. You've painted an universe of brilliant chiaroscuro-- and the scope of it is utterly mindblowing. The last few chapters-- the final showdown, such as it was--between Van and Maglor, and then Van and the Valar-- was utterly sublime.  The descriptive passages were simply stellar, and played on every one of my senses.  It's been a long time since I could visualize a scene so clearly as in his communion with Ulmo, retrieving the Silmaril, and ultimately facing the Fos Almir.

Vanimórë said: ''And this takes me to Aman.'' --and you've killed me.

Van is truly a phenom. He is the most fascinating and charismatic antihero I have had the pleasure of coming across in this fandom. His Maiar blood is wonderfully, subtly present throughout-- he is an Elf, yes... but he is so much more. Yet never in a way that makes him lose his "humanity" (for lack of a more appropriate term). I loved that every decision he made was true to his character-- you didn't shy away from his dark side, or his crimes. But it's not just Van-- all of these characters are so vivid, so much larger than life. The whole story is epic in the truest and most poetic sense of the word. It is vast and compelling. I'm only sorry it took me so long to get here.  I tend to run from stories involving rape and incest-- some darkfic is simply too dark for me--but I'm glad that I finally worked up my courage to explore your world. And now I don't want to leave.

I will say-- and you must forgive me, as I know it's not in your canon-- but I was really hoping that Van and Maglor's love/hate relationship would develop into something more.  The way Van goads him with a smile just kills me-- but if there's anyone who could hold his own with a demigod, it's a Feanorian!!  

On to the next one...!!!

Author's Response: I am in tears, here, Kenaz. Back in 08 when I discovered your incredible Ionnath Estel, (which I miss, as I read it many times and was each time completely awed by your skill, please, please bring it back!) you were one person I wished would read this. It would have given me such a boost to get a review from an author I so much admired. But I didn't ask, and wouldn't because the content is a genuine trigger for people, or at the least a squick, and you can't ask people to read work they find disturbing. So, finding this review this morning made my jaw drop, and then my eyes fill up.

I will say-- and you must forgive me, as I know it's not in your canon-- but I was really hoping that Van and Maglor's love/hate relationship would develop into something more. The way Van goads him with a smile just kills me-- but if there's anyone who could hold his own with a demigod, it's a Feanorian!!

(: I am glad you like their relationship; so do I. Through the love-hate Maglor harbours, it does endure, because their time on Barad-dûr was despite Maglor's pride and fury at Vanimórë's manipulation, it was more than that; Vanimórë genuinely gave everything, and it was the first time Van himself experienced true passion with some-one who could match his own. There is never a time when this attraction between them dies. It was forged in a very dark place, and forged hard.

But golly, your words, thank-you. And I am so very pleased Vanimórë reads as a 'real' character. I didn't know when I began this, that people were not much interested in male OC's in Tolkien's world, because of the amazing canon characters, at least not interested enough to read a story set around an OC rather than having them play a walk-in part. So I am always thrilled when people like some-one I made up myself, if you see what I mean. It still amazes me. But when this story came to me, I had to write it, and it's still not ended (: Thank-you so very, very much for taking the time to review this, and even more for liking it. I am pretty stunned!

I never, ever, ever want to hear you maligning your writing or denigrating your talents again. It is not to be borne. I swear, I will storm off in a virtual huff the next time I witness it.

Same to you! When I read authors who completely humble me losing confidence, or thinking they are poor writers, steam comes out of my ears! I really do hope that seeing the Hobbit, getting back into Middle-earth, will set fire to your muse, because the fandom needs your work, Kenaz!

“Beauty. It overwhelmed his senses. He opened himself to it: the dance of the yellowing silver birches, the patterns of frost on grass-blade, sunsets of cinder red and ice-yellow. He learned to immerse himself in the wonder and glory that was part, so Fëapolda, had said, of the Great Music. Melkor could not quench it. Henceforth, it became his defense, when faced with the unbearable, to remember such beauties. Even when winter came and all living things curled in upon themselves to sleep, there was a glory in the pale, high skies, a clean emptiness to the vistas. And he saw the return of lavish fecundity with the spring, as if the One himself had pronounced that winter was no true death, simply a time of rest.”

Van must have been overwhelmed by the beauty he found in nature, especially after his horrid childhood in the Hells. I’m sure as a boy he couldn’t even imagine a flower, or a song bird in flight. He could have turned dark and wicked. The fact that he embraces beauty endears him to me all the more.

Author's Response: The fact that he embraces beauty endears him to me all the more.

From deprivation, he came to love the beauty of the world. Angband was in a a drear place, on the edge of the ice. The world beyond held beauties he could not imagine.
Thank-you, Lisse.